The Stillness

Welcome to A Redeemer's Heart. Life has surely taken us through some things. Some of the events leave us with scarred, marred hearts. We are grateful for Christ. He truly has a way of mending what has been broken, and making it new. If you truly desire it, He will give you a redeemer's heart. This is a space of truth. Not all truths hurt. Some are sweet, profound and life changing. It's always important to find your truth and glean in it.

Embracing the Stillness

Mistaken peace

I’ve mistaken peace for boredom, stillness with laziness, and a nonchalant attitude with unresolved trauma. I’m in this season of rest with absolutely nothing to do. There are no mountains to climb, no doors to close, no feelings to explore…there’s just stillness. In this stillness I’ve been finding myself scrolling on social media to keep myself occupied. Mindless scrolling through different stories, feeds, reels, and brands. I save a post, share a post, and then put the phone down.

The stillness returns and I pick the phone back up and repeat the process. One day, I was sitting during the early evening, and the sun was just going down. Dinner was cooked, kids were fed, the kitchen was clean, my chores complete, and there again was the stillness. This time I sat still and breathed in the calmness of having nothing to do. I breathed in the peace of my children sitting and shutting up for more than an hour. I looked around my cozy apartment and realized that I wasn’t bored at all. I was at peace.

Battle of self-acceptance

The battle of self-acceptance, life’s circumstances, and my identity in Christ are no longer a constant question. Healing is the process of becoming sound or healthy again. I knew my heart had been sick for quite some time. It was broken from the letdowns of life and the expectations of people. I knew my mind was in warfare of what was then and what is now. I had grown so accustomed to living with my proclivities that I didn’t realize that healing was taking place.

I think it’s quite profound to experience healing and not even realize that it’s happening. We are so used to the busy and chaotic circumstances of this world that we don’t realize when stillness is trying to show us how far we have come. Things that used to bother me no longer aggravate me. Comments that people would make that made me go left, I simply brush off. Recognizing when someone has an issue that doesn’t involve me, frees me from the burden of trying to fix anything. Healing has me moving differently.

Season of rest

Mistaking peace for boredom almost made me miss out on this season of rest. I’m resting within my heart and my mind. Physically, I am finally catching up with what Christ has already freed and healed me from spiritually. It’s something how when God tells you a thing, you thank Him for it, but you don’t fully understand and embrace it in both the physical and spiritual realm. I used to be that busy body who couldn’t stand to sit still or have nothing to do. Now, nothing excites me more than the feeling of accomplishment when I can just sit and be still.

This new normal of peace and stillness is an amazing time of inner reflection. I am enjoying Christ’s fatherhood in a way I didn’t think I was capable of. I feel seen, heard, loved and adored. Even when He seems far, I know He’s right there working something out on my behalf or preparing me for my next.

Take a moment and be still and listen to your heart and mind. Take a moment to pray and rest in His presence. In the stillness you can discover so many beautiful things. In stillness you can find the beautiful parts of how Christ has refined you. I will no longer mistake peace for boredom. I will thank God for redemption.