All of the pieces

I believe that for awhile I was scared to be made whole because I didn’t want to lose any part of me. Although not every part is or was beautiful, it’s still very much, me. I think the issue that I had with fully surrendering to Christ is that I still wanted to be me.

Beautiful Mosaic

Welcome to A Redeemer's Heart. I just got back to writing after taking a year off. Divorce isn't easy. I couldn't seem to find my thoughts or voice. I am grateful for the quiet time to gather what has been stuck in my mind and heart.

As I am in transition from married to single, the 'aha' moments are never-ending. This is my space to release everything that God leads me to release. If something resonates with you, leave me a comment and share the post with a friend! Thanks so much for being here.

“When the heart is right, the mind and body will follow.” - Coretta Scott King

All of the pieces

When I look into the mirror, I see all the pieces of me. These pieces are from different versions of me. Some of them I don’t recognize, but the feelings are familiar. God has always told me, that He’d make me whole. I never thought much about what that looked like. Wholeness is defined as the state of being unbroken or undamaged. As I sit and allow that definition to really sink in, I am mesmerized. God literally told me that He’d reverse my brokenness. How in the world do you unbreak or make something undamaged?

I believe that for a while, I was scared to be made whole, because I didn’t want to lose any part of me. Although not every part was or is beautiful, it’s still very much me. I think the issue that I had with fully surrendering to Christ is that I still wanted to be me. 2 Corinthians 5:17 states, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here” (NIV). That scripture had me in a chokehold.

I wrestled with God

I’ve wrestled with God with some of my most favorite pieces of me. I didn’t understand that He just wanted to purify, sanctify, and clean the pieces up. God wanted all the pieces to create this beautiful mosaic. Mosaics are intentional creations. They are created by meticulously placing small, regular and irregular pieces of ceramic or glass together, to create the target picture that the artist chooses.

For so many years, I felt discouraged and questioned God wondering, “why am I still broken? “Father, what’s taking so long”? I never realized that some of the pieces needed to be broken down to fit into the small places. I didn’t understand that some of the pieces had to go back into the fire, because the color was off. God has been taking his time with my healing, because the result is more beautiful than I have ever seen myself. This brings one of my favorite scriptures to my heart (James 1:2-4).

Okay God

With every test I say, “okay God, I hope that made one of those pieces I love so much, glossy with gold trimming”. “Okay Father, that was tough, one of the pieces must have been too big”. With all tests, trials, and even victories, I imagine how the masterpiece will come together. I’ve stopped rushing the process and allow Him to have His way. It took me a minute, but I’ve surrendered all the pieces to Him. I am waiting in expectation to see His glory.

I’m not sure what holds you back from Christ, but only He can handle all the pieces. He knows what to do with every single one of them. I think it’s time for you to rest from carrying so many of them. Allow Him to be the Artisan that makes you whole, and to create a masterpiece that you can be proud of. Oh, and He doesn’t need your help, so don’t hold back anything.